Sunday, September 23, 2007
grump
creaky joints are unsuitable for bearing my significantly-increased weight. my knee is starting to click yet again. and god forbid the field on tuesday is even slightly bumpy, because if i land in a pothold i am going to resprain my ankle so badly i won't be able to walk for weeks. as it is landing strangely already sends tingles up my entire leg. bad. how did i get to this state?
end of posting test is creeping closer. shit! still scraping the bottom of the barrel-- csfc-dumbness. feeling annoyed every time i step into hospital and paranoid
every time i step out of it. even a good long soak in the tub + choya sprite + nap couldn't get rid of my pounding stress headache. it just triggered a frantic round of self-flagellation over the fact that i snored away 3 hours in a bathtub. can't believe and don't understand what i'm turning into. i don't like it one bit.
i need the test to come. soon. and i need a good long holiday. ALONE.
Some people get up at the break of day
Gotta go to work before it gets too late
Sitting in a car and driving down the road
It ain't the way it has to be
But that's what you do to earn your daily wage
That's the kind of world that we're living in today
Isn't where you wanna be
And isn't what you wanna do
You've got to look at life the way it oughta be
Looking at the stars from underneath the tree
There's a world inside and a world out there
With that on tv you just don't care
They've got violence, wars and killing too
All shrunk down in a two-foot tube
But out there the world is a beautiful place
With mountains, lakes and the human race
And this is where I wanna be
And this is what I wanna do
--new order, krafty
+ fictions&fires
10:22 PM
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plangere, latin: to strike, or to lament.
in the depth of winter i finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
--albert camus
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to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
-- ee cummings
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