magnificently unprepared/for the long littleness of life.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
hush, the dead are dreaming
i demand disc time.
having a toe out of commission at the worst time. unable to squeeze foot into OT boots. and worst of all, unable to play. tak's msg over msn: you playing for muddies at opens? just depresses me profoundly. at least i can still jam. however copious amounts of nasty yellow ______ did not prevent me from having a most profitable saturday evening. ka-ching! not as cash-dense as tuition but definitely more emotionally-rewarding.
league game now. opted not to go because the sight of people running and catching discs is just too much for me to handle right now. hoping my toe heals quickly. thinking of skipping school just to help all the granulation tissue along. oh well.
keep busy, keep moving, keep going. i am continually surprised by the resilience of the human condition. also revisiting radiohead. over, and over, and over, again.
i'd kill myself for recognition; kill myself to never ever stop.
i broke another mirror; i'm turning into something i am not.
don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
drying up in conversation, i will be the one who cannot talk.
all my insides fall to pieces, i just sit there wishing i could still make love
they're the ones who'll hate me when i think i've got the world all sussed out
they're the ones who'll spit at me. i will be the one screaming out.
+ fictions&fires
3:09 PM
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plangere, latin: to strike, or to lament.
in the depth of winter i finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
--albert camus
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to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
-- ee cummings
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