Tuesday, March 28, 2006
medical humour, or what passes for it
sue's ass lay forth, oscar's penis slowly mounted:
branches of the external carotid.
sup thyroid, ascending cervical, lingual, pharyngeal, occipital, posterior auricular, superficial temporal, maxillary (both internal and external)
some lovers try positions that they cannot handle:
carpal bones from medial to lateral, bottom row then top.
scaphoid lunate triquetrium pisiform trapezium trapezoid capitate hamate
"i milked our insatiable intern's udders under the desk":
anterior branches of external iliac.
inferior gluteal, middle rectal, obturator, inferior vesical, internal pudendal, umbilical, deferential/uterine (m/f)
i love going places in my violet-orange underwear:
branches of internal iliac.
ileolumbar, lateral sacral, gluteal (sup, inf), (internal) pudendal, inferior vesical/uterine, middle rectal, vaginal, obturator
lazy french tarts lie naked in anticipation of sex:
structures passing through superior orbital fissure.
lacrinal, frontal. trochlear, lateral, nasociliary, internal, abducent (nerves), opthalmic veins, sympathetic nerves.
some say money matters but my brother says big boobs matter more:
composition of cranial nerves CNI-CNXII.
specialsense, specialsense, motor, motor, both, motor, both, sensory, both, both, motor, motor
whilst going to ai's house a couple days back (icekimo) i noticed a clinic advertising the services of a "mobile doctor". probably means he spends his waking hours getting bitten by unfriendly dogs, splinting that sprained wrist from over-dota, getting groped up by horny old ladies (you'd be surprised.) and bandaging up hangnails. poor bugger. but you really have to wonder what a "stationary doctor" would be like. muhaha.
patient: oh, hello doctor.
doctor: hello, sit down. you might like to move a bit closer. i can't reach you like that.
patient: why don't y--
(patient looks down and sees giant bolts attaching said doctor to the chair, running down his spine)
patient: oh. why?
doctor: they had the brackets put in once i got my stationary medicine qualification. they don't want us running away and wasting the government's money. could you please come closer? (motions with stethoscope)
patient: oh yeah, sure, no problem.
doctor: okay, now take off your shirt.
patient: uhh...
doctor: trust me, i'm a doctor.
patient: okay.
doctor: (feels around with stethoscope) alright.. now breathe in, breathe out.
patient: doctor, i don't think you should be leaning that close, and the stethoscope-- HEY!
doctor: they seemed uneven! i was just checking them for you! breast cancer is very common in beautiful ladies below 50!
(patient proceeds to beat doctor to death while doctor flails helplessly in bracketed chair)
hmm. maybe that's why you don't see any of those around. must snoop around the sma website one of these days.
+ fictions&fires
8:37 PM
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plangere, latin: to strike, or to lament.
in the depth of winter i finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
--albert camus
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to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
-- ee cummings
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